Start Me Up! - Part 15

This may sound a bit surprising, but the planner often plays a role in helping a couple select a ceremony officiant, and will occasionally assist in arranging further communication. While some clients have a family or familiar officiant they would like to preside over their ceremony, many others may not have clergy they would consider for something as intimate and emotional as marriage.

This second scenario is where the knowledge of a planner can really be crucial. You can and should be able to provide some guidance for your clients should they request your assistance. Tread lightly, being that it is a wedding ceremony there may be a substantial religious element involved – and religion can be a very delicate matter. In fact, part of the Sheffield Wedding Planning course addresses the roles that religion and culture play in wedding ceremonies. While you should to be able to generally advise, please try not to push your clients. Give them information and suggestions, but leave the big decision to them.

In recent years, many couples have opted to be married by their friends, family, etc. (I actually did this for my wedding!). While a less traditional option, this can definitely be a wonderful way for your clients to further personalize their event. The laws governing who may conduct a wedding ceremony differ from state to state, so be sure to do your research before dishing out any advice. You don’t want to get your clients excited to then have their hopes dashed when they realize their state may not deem this a legal union.

Lest we forget, as there are thousands of inter-faith ceremonies that take place every year, your couple may choose to have two officiants perform the ceremony, or may even infuse traditions from each culture into the program. This scenario at times may complicate your work as a coordinator, but when properly executed it can result in a wonderful and rewarding day for all involved.

If you are involved in this process, it is crucial that you remind your couple that they should try to find an officiant with whom they feel comfortable, as well as someone who shares the temperament the couple desires for their ceremony. Some officiants may be more light-hearted, laid back and humorous, while others may have a more solemn and formal tone. Most are willing to perform rehearsals, some are not. Below is a general list that your clients should keep in mind while meeting with a potential officiant:

1. Will you marry us if we are of different faiths?

2. Will you marry us if one or both of us have been divorced?

3. Will you officiate our ceremony if we are not current members of your church?

4. Do you charge a fee? Or is the fee a donation to the church?

5. Do you require premarital or religious classes? What are those requirements?

6. Would you allow another officiant to take part in the ceremony?

7. Can we personalize our ceremony by writing our own vows or selecting specific readings or music? Are you open to non-secular  vows, readings or wedding songs?

8. Can we choose non-religious readings or music?

9. Will you give a sermon during the ceremony? If so, can we have some input?

10. Should we bring you the marriage license before the wedding date? Will you mail it to the state for us?

11. How far in advance is the rehearsal usually held?

12. Are there any restrictions as to our attire, or our bridal party’s attire? (bare shoulders, short dresses, etc.)

13. Are there any ceremony site restrictions such as flash photography, videography, decor, tossing items?

14. Will you wear a mic if the videographer requires one to capture the ceremony?

15. What items does the ceremony site/officiant provide, and what must we bring ourselves? (pews, isle runners, microphone, etc.)

16. What will you (the officiant) wear?

xx,
Belle